This is awkward!

Hello friends,

This is REALLY awkward. I am not gonna lie, I have tried to write this blog post for the last three weeks, but  nothing seemed proper enough to post. I have also been really busy writing short stories, the ones which I promised to post like a hundred years ago, but they are coming, just working some of the technicalities around creative writing ;).

Anyways, the reason this post has taken decades to emerge, is because I have no idea how to sum up the amount of things I have learned this year, in a single blog post.  There is no aspect of my life that has not changed this year, or any occurrence that has not changed my perspective on things. I remember that change was my biggest fear last year when leaving school. As the year the progressed, and more and more things began to change, I realised that fearing it was just going to leave me as a ball of anxiety. Furthermore, the adult in me was beginning to show through this change, so I figured if it was just part of the transition and growing pains of life.

When I say things have changed, literally every aspect has, I won't take you through this 11 month and 7 days metamorphosis, but I will take you through some of it, and the lessons I learned from it, cause we all about that positive vibes aren't we?!

1) ONE DIRECTION (OMG Nuraan, ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS)

So I'll give a minute to roll your eyes and ask yourself  "OMFG is she ever going to get over this?".
The thing is, to many people I look like an over-aged obsessed fangirl, but as gut-wrenchingly cliche as this may sound, they have played a major role in this 'I have changed and am a new person' thing. So given the many internet breakdowns on Zayn Malik leaving the band I am sure you could tel that I didn't take that very well. Thing is, is wasn't really about the fact that I wasn't going to see the guy perform live or ever hear his angelic voice alongside the other boys, it was mainly around the disappointment of it being announced 3 days before my birthday, and a week before the MUCH anticipated concert. Like everyone knows I really don't wear my heart on my sleeve or show much emotion around anything or 'anyone' (rolls eyes), so when the One Thing (yes, cheesy one direction reference) that I did show emotion on failed, it literally felt like the end of my friggen fantastic fangirl fantasy (alliteration, YAAAAS). I literally told everyone I don't believe in love, excitement and holding onto the abstracts of life. So where are you going with this Nuraan? From this I learned simply to not put all your eggs in one basket. To allow time to take its course. To accept individuals for their choices knowing that it couldn't of been easy, I mean I am writing a long ass blog post just because I had to adult for a year.


2) TUTORING

I don't think I ever mentioned this online before, but in the past year I was a tutor to a few obsecure characters that totally influenced my perceptions on life. Most of the kids I dealt with were aged between 13-15 years old, but the place I tutored at had every single grade, even a few students from my old high school (which I miss SO much). I had gone into this, overthinking and underminding my abilities to do these kids well. Once I had met them, I felt like I had to do more for them than just make them understand how to factorise trinomials. Slowly, and at some point tediously, each student began opening up in a different way. I was totally honored by the fact that young, impressionable individuals were listening to ME, were asking ME for advice and thought of ME when they were in a salty situation. What tutoring had done mostly for me this year, was build confidence in myself, and the reinforce the choices I was ever so set on (talking about my career in teaching, duh keep up friends). As the academic year drew to a close the anticipated results were spectacular and their achievements felt like my achievements. Basically, where I am goijng with this is that opening yourself to something totally out of your comfort zone and succeeding in it gives you a remarkable breathe of fresh air. I am so inspired to inspire more, and aspire to be of the greatest educators one day!

3)MY CIRCLES ARE STILL SMALL #NONEWFRIENDS

If there something that I learnt, is that relationships do not stay the same after high school. As much as you try, it is never the same. I am not saying that suddenly everyone becomes your enemy, contrary to that, the adult burns from within and every sticky situation is salvaged with a cute whatsapp message. All I can say is, that those who truly want to stay in your life stay, and those who don't; it doesn't mean they dislike you as a person, its just they've found their circle, within  they want to stay. Also, the big, bright world you enter involves the meeting of various individuals who potentially test you to your very core. Those individuals even have the ability to change people you thought you knew so well. My advice to that, coming out of a year in which that was so apparent, is distance yourself. We need to learn to work on you, yourself and no one else. Thus, toxic relationships need to be disposed of quicker than  a jelly bean which has fallen into a rain puddle. Some (many) believe the university I attend gives you this superiority complex and therefore thinks that the circles small stance is quite bitchy but rather that than being drawn into a cycle of fake friendships. On the flip side, I have met some absolute gems this year who I am certain will remain in my circle. Also, there are those old favourites who I wouldn't/couldn't ever get rid of even if I tried. So, never be afraid to politely distant yourself from those who make you uncomfortable, for your bubble of happiness and the things that make you happy, should never be compromised by someone irrelevant to your mantras.

So despite these few changes, I am still a quirky blogger who loves reading, boybands, cupcakes and loving to people who love her.

2016 will be the year I work for myself. The year in which every blessing will be appreciated and every trouble challenged to become a blessing. Simultaneously changing and learning has given me the ammunition from refill the bubble I choose to put myself into. The bubble which will eventually float me into the dreams I desire the most!

Have a blessed New Year!
xoxo
-N

HELLO!

I thought after like a hundred years you guys needed to hear some of my word vomit!

EVERYTHING has been annoying me so I have quite a bit to rant about.
I think an upfront apology for bad vibes is in order. Also, take this as a warning, if you are in a totally happy place right now, permission is granted to colour in your rainbows somewhere else.

So I know over this last year my total vision of this blog has pejorated. I am not going to say sorry for this. I am not going to delete any post I did as a beauty or wanna-be fashion blogger. Its part of me. Part of my internet image. I personally just think I have evolved from wanting to share what lipstick I think will make me look like Taylor Swift. I believe that life now has a deeper meaning than just throwing on layers makeup to look like a desired celebrity, whose desirability was in any case constructed by the metaphysical prowess of a 24 page  magazine. I think I should leave my media rant for a separate blog post though. (Watch this space).

The lack of originality of the generation I am trapped in makes me want to drink my liquid eyeliner. Everyone is draping themselves in hijab so that they can be 'religiously' superior to someone. Everyone is posting pictures of seapoint promenade with a caption off brainyquotes.com so that they can be 'socially' superior. Probably my most detested one is the reign of the 'feminist'. I have never seen young girls throw a term like feminism around in conversations as they do have been doing lately. I legitimately have to hold back a liquid substance wanting to converge from my eyes because what does a 16 year old know about not wanting to wear a bra, and how that makes you a feminist. Or the total disregard for any male figure of authority. A term which in the past was a revolutionary concept in eradicating injustices, has just become a fashionable Instagram bio and a reason for girls being single.

It is honestly pathetic. We totally live in the age of Google but our minds are so primitive in that someone who has 2000 followers on Instagram, is deemed 'perf, flame emoji and OMG insta-famous'. I would probably be criticized for saying this as I am an avid instagrammer, but I never want to be caught in the realm of having an aesthetically perfect insta feed. Instagram is an app which holds memories. So that is what I use it for. I get more out of one of my best friends liking my picture, than a random dude, with a basic hairstyle that I don't even know. My point is, take things for there purpose and I am pretty sure you find more pleasure in the process.

Rant aside, I do believe people are set out to do what they think is important to them at a particular time. Even if it means being ultra basic, aka a fashion blogger. ( I kid). But you know what I mean.

If this blog seemed patronizing I am so sorry, but take this advice, re-read this again after the advice was implement as see if you feel the same way; Be effortless in your pursuit of perfection.

K Bye!
xx
P.S Short story coming soon. 

Aloha!

At this moment in time, I actually just can't deal. I have 3 heavy weight assignments due on Monday, yet I am here, writing this post, procrastinating and having a meltdown all in one.

My degree consists of writing, writing and writing, I know you guys are probably thinking that while I am writing this I could be doing my assignments but I just can't. I have honestly run out of words fit for the academic world. So while I try to recover from my breakdown and get my thoughts into one basket i thought I would ramble this little rant. My high school teacher always taught us that when writing; and feeling as though you are hitting a wall, stop breathe and write whatever comes to mind. This is what I am doing right now boys and girls, and unfortunately, you guys are at the wrath of my laptop punches.

In other news, I have a very(well, hopefully) exciting thing launching on this blog in a few weeks time. (When uni begins to slow down). I will be posting short-stories written by yours truly. This is something I have been working on for a while and have literally kept it a a secret from everyone. I am really anxious as it legitimately feels as though I am recording bits of my imagination and just broadcasting it to the world. However I am hoping that it can be the start of something new(I know you all just sang that in your HSM1 voice) and exciting.

So keep your eyes peeled and your imagination awakened and join me on this new venture.

Wish me luck with hell week at campus and till next time keep your hearts happy and your lives lovable.

xoxo
Nuraan
(Sorry for all the parenthesis)

FAVOURITE TIME OF THE YEAR : EXAMS!!!

Aloha

So obvs my title is bursting with sarcasm. How does anyone actually deal with exams. Exams are as annoying as a tweet limit,split ends and fake friends. Sadly, we live in a conformist era where making money is the ideal end goal, and to make this money we essentially need to get our degrees and to get our degrees we need to write AND pass these things called exams... (what a load of word vomit that was *shakes head*).

Anyway, reading through my blog I noticed that I have been doing nothing but complain about how terrible life is at this moment in time and hardly given any of you all the crazy advice I promised in the beginning. So here are a few tips on how to pass end of semester exams:

1) STAY CALM
We all have this tendency to freak out before our exam period, and don't even deny it, cause I know I am a ball of anxiety rolling through passages of my house sobbing about how much I hate it. Take some homeopathic anxiety medication and know that if you have a positive input, there would be a positive output. ITS LIKE THE GOLDEN RULE OMG!!!

2) SO FUN STUFF
Don't give up on life, meet up for coffee, watch a film, UPDATE YOUR BLOG. Plan your time wisely so that you can find a balance AND keep your sanity.

and finally
3)DON'T MESS UP
We are all given adequate time to prepare, and if you have made it till the end of your semester, I am one hundred percent sure you can kick the examination hurdles all the way to China (unless you're from China, then kick it somewhere else). Also realise that this is for yourself and see that as a motivation on its own, because you're worth it (yes you may flip your hair).

But seriously, if you are writing exams, I wish you all the best and may God guide you to suceed.

Best,
Nuraan
xxx

Meloncholic Midweek Mumbles

Aloha Bandellas

Sometimes the worst of things allow you to appreciate the joys in your life. Wednesdays for me are the best and the worst of days. *fangirl mode initiated* Wednesday was the day I saw four of my favourite people perform live, so naturally, I fangirl the hell out of myself on Wednesdays. However, Wednesday is also the day which Zayn left One Direction, I mean who will ever forget the bleak Wednesday evening, the 25th, where Zayn thought he could get away with breaking up with millions of fans over a Facebook status. I know everyone is probably thinking OMG NURAAN GET OVER IT. I swear sometimes I am over it, and then sometimes I'm just not. ANYWAY...

Back to explaining why Wednesdays are bipolar. Its sort of the day of the week that gives you hope that the weekend has not left you forever, you can sort of smell the perfume of Friday night already.But then, it is also the night you probably have the most work. Right now I am procrastinating so hard. I have spread all my history readings across my bed but am happily listening to Lana Del Reys' Young and Beautiful  whilst writing this over sensitive blog post.

I am fully aware that this mumbling probably has everyone questioning my sanity, but I assure you that I am equal parts sane and sarcastic.

Have a blissful week and ignore anything or anyone who wants to force their negativity on you.
Love you somtimes humans
Till next time
-N
xxx

STRANGER DANGER

Aloha Bandellas

Deeply and sincerely apologizing for being so absent on this forum. University has, in every way crusaded time for doing 'fun stuff' . 

I have craved to just blurt out everything on my mind over the last weeks, but writing academic essays with references and errthang has just been so creatively stifling. Today I woke up with the purpose of having a good ole' internet rant (and rave) about this CRAZY past few weeks...

1) Zayn Maliks One Direction Departure

3 words: I WAS GUTTED. I spent 3 day sobbing continuously, even in public. It was three days before my birthday and a week before the much anticipated Cape Town concert and I just couldn't handle it. Like a typical girl and I blamed the world for being against me, and detested everyone around me for a solid 48 hours. I began to do a lot of reading, about Zayn, the band, NAUGHTY BOY ( gagged while typing that) and came to realise that Zayn decision will STAY his decision, no matter how many times we angrily tweet him, shed copious amounts of tears on, he will not come back. As heartbreaking as it is we are still left with an incredibly talented foursome. They have picked themselves up from this and stayed. I can attest for the incredible vocals and April 1st, 2015 I saw them live and they left me completely stunned. They are the best boyband in the world for a reason. I will continue in all my fangirl efforts to support them on their tenor.

2) MY BIRTHDAY :'D

Despite the tragic week, my birthday weekend was everything I could of hoped for. I spent it with my close friends and family and made some fond and happy memories. Turned out to be one of the best ones yet. I am now 19 and in my last year as a teen. Seems completely crazy as I sometimes still feel like a 12 year old. Life is a whole lot of different exciting when you this age. Just so grateful to have so many amazing people to share memories with.
Here's to 190 more years!

3) FINALLY, in the past weeks I've left skinny jeans and liquid eyeliner for some hiking boots and laughs up mountains. For two consecutive weeks I trekked up mountains with my brother and cousins. I will give you a minute to laugh that off. But yeah, my rawkus laugh and weak ankles went over rocks to admire valley views and waterfalls. Being surrounded by the majestic beauty created by  God puts a lot of things into perspective. Minuscule things like no electricity (coughs, eskom), spending time crying over boybands and hating statues (sigh, South Africa ey) don't even matter when being confronted by such beauty.

Writing has always been my escape from the world. Feeling 100 pounds lighter now that I have written this post!

Till next time lovelies
Nuraan

New Faces, New Fashion, New Future

Aloha Bandellas

Over the last 3-4 weeks the life of Nuraan as we like to know it, has dramatically changed. I started university, something I thought would simply be a formality in the norms that is life, but boy was I wrong (I'm never wrong so this is odd).

Walking up Jammie steps, was like opening a brand new, fresh from the printers, third and final installment of your favorite trilogy, you have an overwhelming feeling of excitement, feeling as though you'll have the ending you want, but then discover everything you THOUGHT would happen doesn't and it kind of just ruins everything.

That overly-dramatic analogy, is essentially what my life had felt like. In a matter of 5 days I had to completely change my degree structure because of certain subjects I couldn't do. Being me, I had planned out every angle of what I wanted to do and that all came to a drastic halt/reverse/never drive down there again!

I quickly realised dressing up for campus is a no-go and I basically end up looking like a vagrant most of the time.

However, it hasn't only been doom and gloom, I have met some rather interesting individuals. I have grown up conversations on the daily. There have been some challenging situations as having such a diverse group of people in one space could be a little trying, but you know me, I thrive when I stay away from negative vibes.

I see my usual squad like everyday and it just consists of us pulling really weird faces at each other on passing, like seriously, we couldn't grow up that fast!

Collectively, this has been one of the most testing times of my life, the amount of "new-niss" is just too much to even deal. However this change is somewhat refreshing and finally puts life as a whole into perspective.

Have a great weekend everybody <3

Nuraan
xxx